Saturday, August 29

Drebin and the Doughnut Factory

I named that guy in the beginning of the video Drebin. Because Drebin is the only name that starts with the letter D.

And he's also that MGS4 guy.

There's also this person who keeps coming into my viewfinder. -stabs-

Picking Up a Red Lantern and Running Around

A detailed instructional on how to run around with your red lantern in the comforts of your own house follows:

1) Spot hanging lantern
2) Take hanging lantern
3) Sprint around like a madman

Clone Trooper Worm Dance

I'm also developing a special worm dance of my own.

A Trap

It's still there.

Ghost Shirt

Beware its signature Gaping Mouth of Generous BJs.

Terry Berry

Terry Berry? In an effort to appear "Korean" this little stall decided to deceive the masses with their stupid blue dinosaur.

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I bet they just put 'terry berry' into a English to Korean online translator.

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This guy looks like he has no idea what he's doing.

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A victim of the advertising corporations.

Deceived by pretty logos and peer pressure, this individual caves in and purchases things she doesn't really need.

Friday, August 28

Aggressive Parking

Due to dramatic changes in my daily schedule, blog posts will only come (in hordes) during the weekends. Ok that's covered, let's see what this week brings in madness.

I was driving around in a stolen orange MyVi when I decided to park and eat Ikea currypuffs. I parked at an avenue and realized that I was obstructing traffic. So I double-parked as close as I could to another MyVi.

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That close.

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Wait. That looks pretty freaking close.

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Oh. Wait. We're touching.

Not unlike when two guys "cross swords" at the urinals.

Thursday, August 20

There I Fixed It

I saw this on There I Fixed It a few days ago. At first glance it looked as if the dish was inside someone's crummy pool.

But today as I was about to post I noticed that this is in fact a river and the thing behind is a floating restaurant. This gives me a sneaky suspicion that this was taken in Taman Negara in Pahang.

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Now it would make sense as to why the dish is sitting on a walking frame under water. The floating restaurant wants Astro. But said restaurant is floating thereby making it impossible for reception due to the unstable nature of the floating restaurant.

Also a grandpa drowned and left his walking frame there.

Tuesday, August 18

An Old Man

I haven't been posting much lately due to having only about 3 hours of personal time a day. Please forgive the lack of content.

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I saw this scene which reminds me of simpler times when cellphones were exclusive to the wealthy.

This modestly dressed elderly man depends on a public phone somewhere in Miri town for communication. Possibly having just finished shopping, (observe black plastic bag with book-shaped item) he could be calling his friends for a social gathering. MMT.

Friday, August 14

The Mad Labeler

I bought this Dyno label making device for about RM10 at the local Jusco and I swore by the Book of Great Labeling to take on the helm of The Mad Labeler!

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CAT: Will it never end? >:C

Persian cats are so anti-social. Hmph. Donlaik.

Wednesday, August 12

Fish Bone In My Throat

A few days ago I noticed that when I swallowed (my saliva), I feel a little poke at the back of my tongue.

I never paid attention to it until this morning, I looked at my throat in the mirror and saw a short (5mm) sharp thingy poking out of my throat.

I then realized that I have a fish bone stuck inside my throat. I grabbed the nearest tweezers but it was too short and I couldn't reach it.

At the time I was also not very certain whether or not it was a fish bone so I placed the tweezers down and poked at the bone with my finger all the while gagging a few milliliters of slimy saliva into the sink.

My tongue got cramped a few times too as I was trying hard to get a good look at the bone. After a few minutes my tongue was cramping bad.

I left it alone for a few hours. Then later at night I felt the annoying poke again. I tried looking for a longer pair of tweezers but was unsuccessful.

I poked at the flesh around the bone a few times to make sure it was really a bone and not just a white stripe in my throat. This time I was totally convinced because when I pressed my flesh in, the bone stayed still. It stuck out of my flesh similar to how when you press down on a sponge that has a toothpick stuck in it, the sponge compresses but the toothpick stays.

I stumbled around looking for a pair of tweezers that I remember seeing in this house a few months ago but I never found them.

Then I saw a pair of thin narrow scissors. Hmm.

I carefully inserted the scissors into my throat, slowly 'picked' the bone with the scissors and pulled.

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LONG: Damn that thing was stuck 2/3's into my throatflesh

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THE SAVIOR: I couldn't have done it without you, long narrow scissors

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IT WAS THERE: This is a post-processed, post-bone-removal picture showing where the bone was sticking out from

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STENCH OF A THOUSAND FISHMAIDS: Being the adventurous fool that I am, I took a long hard whiff of the lost fishbone. You know how morning-breath smells like? Mix that with the smell of a rotting carcass of a fish stuffed in a cow's anus when it's sitting on a landfill after the rain and you will get the relative idea of how this bone smells like

I dropped the scissors (thus snipping the bone) when taking that photograph so you can see that it is considerably shorter.

If fish bones can easily get stuck in your throat, I wonder how many fishbones are there in my tummy.


Monday, August 10

Malaysian Government Thinks Masturbation Causes Swine Flu

Bernama ran an article stating that masturbation and homosexuality may potentially cause H1N1.

Dr. V. M. Palaniappan said that such activities caused the body to develop friction heat which in turn, produced acid and made the body hyperacidised.

"Thus, the body becomes an easy target for H1N1 infection," he told Bernama, emphasising however, that normal sexual union between members of the opposite sex was absolutely safe.

But standard sex is a-ok. Because the H1N1 virus hates homosexuals and masturbation.

I suppose they assume that we're all uneducated fools who think that our genitals are able to tell the difference between men and women.


Wednesday, August 5

Tyres are really strong

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I never realized just how strong until today.

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Monday, August 3

He Drives a 1979 Toyota Corona

I saw this one day. The content was baffling.

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I drive a 1979 yellow Toyota Corona. It has been in my family since 1980, I was six then. If you like, we could meet up and go for a drive.

We could visit my place too, check out this white book shelf I took from my father, now stuffed with books and other things.

I stripped off the fake wood cover and painted it white. i suppose it's not about the shelf, the books, but the corner it occupies, and the blank stares I always have while looking at it/them.

Ya please call me, and we take it from there.



Saturday, August 1

Me and My Pool

I once boasted about owning a private pool. I kept my voluptuous curves out of my reviews since I'm such a tease.

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Now in all its VGA glory, I reveal to you my highly sought after fatty legs. You see, sometimes I face my house door because paragliders keep flying by pretending not to be checking me out.

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On less paraglidy days, I then face westward towards the beach and pretend the clouds are giant sausages.