Thursday, December 2

Travelling from Pandan Jaya to LCCT Kuala Lumpur

Here's something some people may find interesting.

It's how to get to LCCT from Pandan Jaya lrt station.

So now you're at Pandat Jaya station. Follow the sign that says TO SENTUL TIMUR. Your next stop is to Masjid Jamek station.

Stand by the platform and look into the mighty longkang cum river while imagining how hillarious it would be if a round hairy fat guy were to bob along the river surface pleading for someone to help him.

Stop imagining when the next train arrives and board it.

When you reach Masjid Jamek, you'll have to cross the road to the other side of the station. This should be done with style. (eg: leap out into oncoming traffic, do a roll then land firmly on your feet at the other side)

You could use an underground tunnel too if you wish. But that way is BORING. Also, the station renovations may have sealed the tunnel up. So, tell me whether or not its accesible.

Once you're across the road in the other station, you may start looking for some escalators that lead you underground.

Find the platform that goes to Kelana Jaya. You take this one because you are going to KL Sentral. It is only two stations away so it isn't necessary to pull your iPod touch out.

Once in KL Sentral, all you've got to do is find the large KLIA Transit sign.

Go to the counter (not the machine) and exclaim with authority, "LCCT." (preferably with your left hand on your hip and right hand flat on the counter)

Then place Rm12.50 worth in money on the counter. The person behind the counter will suddenly take your money and give you these:

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Take the elevator to quickly reach the air-conditioned waiting room to wait for the train.

Once the train arrives, quickly snatch a seat before that old guy does.

When choosing a seat, try to get the one that faces that cute short haired girl who is probably going to Cyberjaya.

If not, just find those four seat grouped seats and selfishly put your luggage on the seats opposite to you like a spoilt diva.

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Not only does this ensure you can rest your legs on the opposite side, it also prevents that guy with the strange smell from sitting near you.

To make it easier for you later, sit as near as possible to the front of the train (near the waiting room)

It's important to be alert when the train stops at Cyberjaya station because that's where the short haired girl gets off at. Also, because the next stop is Salak Tinggi, which is where you'll be getting off.

DISCLAIMER: I am aware that 'Getting off' usually means the pleasing of one's self by stimulating strategic pressure points. Please do not be confused with my previous instructions.

When you reach Salak Tinggi, find the escalator. If you listened and sat near the front of the train, you should be very near to the escalator.

Find this sign and go down the stairs:

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There you should be able to see your bus.

Sit near Jason Mraz:

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Then ride for about 20 minutes and YOU HAVE REACHED YOUR DESTINATION. IT IS TO YOUR LEFT.

You may go the more affordable route and use the bus shuttle service right from KL Sentral which costs RM9.00 (or RM6.00 online booking if I remember correctly)

Strangely, the time it takes for the so-called "Fast Train" to LCCT plus the bus ride from the Salak Tinggi station to LCCT is also 1 hour.

So in the end it all comes down to your preferences, pay RM3.50 more (or more depending on whether you bundled it with the online booking) for a more comfortable ride or don't pay and arrive ass-numbed 15 minutes later.

And yes there's a currency exchange station in LCCT. Stop calling me at 4 in the morning to ask.

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